do you ever just get so zoned into your music that you forget that you’re staring at someone’s dick or that you’re walking in a crowded hallway or that life is real
staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change
Ellen DeGeneres handing out pizza at the Academy Awards while Brad Pitt follows behind her with paper plates and napkins.
What a time to be alive.
whats the deal with old grandmas who get offended by the word penis but have like 11 kids